Maybe some of you will find this funny. I know the Canadians will!

I was shopping yesterday after school with my kids for their supplies - I wait until we get the list of things they need before opening The Wallet - and had said something about "pencil crayons" in my trademark loud voice, when I was approached by a woman with her school-aged daughter.

"Pencil crayons: is that the same thing as 'coloured pencils'?" she asked.

I knew immediately she was from the U.S., even though she had a General North American accent that didn't reveal her state of origin.

"You see, I'm new to Canada," she confessed, confirming it.

"Yes," I replied, and added with a chuckle: "And because the Laurentiens are shipped from the States, it'll say 'coloured pencils' on the box."

"Well, why don't they just SAY 'coloured pencils' on the list?" she groaned.

"Because that's not what Canadians call 'em," I winked. "We're the shades of grey between the British and the Americans."

"Right. Your money's prettier than ours, anyway," she laughed. "Another thing: what's a 'duotang'?"

"That'd be a paper folder with three paper brads - those thingies you bend to hold the paper in."

"Oh, okay, I know what that is. 'Foolscap'?"

"Legal-length loose-leaf paper."

"You're kidding."

"You try saying 'legal length loose-leaf' to a class of thirty grade 5 students."

"Where's THAT come from?"

"No clue," I grinned.

Are you SURE we share a common language?

Now Elfie, had the immigrant shopper spelled her question for you, I suspect you would have found that she was really asking about colored pencils.

Duotang I would have gotten. But foolscap???

If it has 3 brads why don't you call it "tritang".

What do you call letter length "foolscap"?


Dirt

PS.

One brad and you call it "Angelina Jolie"

(Sorry I could not resist the obvious joke).

Spelling can go either way in Canada, and would not be a good litmus test for North/South borderness. Officially, it's the British spellings... but you'll notice that I use "ize" endings where Brits would use "ise" (e.g. "colourize" vs. "colourise").

Octave: Cute. But there weren't enough questions spawned by the language differences to call it "Angelina".

Sorry Elfie, none of that seems to help much when I cross the border.

Comment dit-on "foolscap" en français ?

Wayne

Why, that's called "papier de foolscap".

Meci beaucoup, Loamy.

Add "bonjour" and "au revoir" and you have about the sum total of my conversational French.

There is some non-conversational French that I am versed in. It is usually followed by the phrase "pardon my French."

Wayne

That's hilarious, Wayne, cause I often say, "excuse my American".

and it's "Merci"

My own tidbit story takes us back to 1988, tromping through Florida with a drunken friend. We stop into Busch Gardens (bad choice when hungover), saddled up to the Pogos, a personal favourite of mine. I order up a couple, and the lady behind the counter doesn't flinch when I say "Pogo." But the other customers look at me strangely until it becomes more apparent that I am a stranger in a very strange land. I am a Canadian. I wanted a corn dog.

Well Loamy, as you can see, I am comfortable mispelling in several languages. I am even more fluent in Spanish, or "effluent" as my Spanish Literature professor liked to call me in my college days. (Not exactly sure what she meant by that. Hmmm.... It might not be good, now that I think about it.)

My sister lives in Florida, north of Tampa and from what I've seen, half the winter population of the town is from your neck of the woods. Please don't worry. Florida is a strange place, even to Floridians. Just ask my sister.

I've never been to the Florida Busch Gardens but spent way too many hours "taking the tour" at the Williamsburg, Virginia brewery. (Brother-in-law always got free passes for Busch Gardens there and no vist would be complete without touring the brewery once. (Or more than once.)

But my Canadian cultural education is progressing by tuning in weekly to the Vinyl Cafe radio program on the CBC, one of the few best things modern radio has to offer.

After I make my road trip to collect beers from Dirt Pit and Major, my plan is to bicycle across Canada from the Maritimes to Vancouver.

Life is short. Too short to spend it working, which is the trap I seem to have gotten myself caught in.

Wayne

Wayne, once you hit major's place, take a left and come on down. I will buy your first 2 Coronas

I'm out currently but the grocery store across the street carries cold Molsens.

Now that will be one long bike ride!

quote:

After I make my road trip to collect beers from Dirt Pit and Major, my plan is to bicycle across Canada from the Maritimes to Vancouver.

Go from Vancouver to St. John's, Newfoundland, OK? That way you get the Rockies out of the way at the BEGINNING of the trip, and you only have to deal with the Canadian Shield when you hit Ontario ("up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down th- MOOSE!"). Then it's all downstream from Toronto... or perhaps you want to skip all of Southern Ontario and instead make a straight line through yet more blackfly country and bike through Ottawa/Hull, through Quebec City, and onward to the Maritimes.

I strongly recommend you skip the Molson, and instead sample from the micros and crafters who dot the T-Can (the Trans-Canada highway). Lovely stuff, that non-corporate beer. I'm particularly fond of Kawartha Lakes (ok, so it's kinda corporate), Maudite, and Stubby. Not sure what microbrews are out West, but there's more to Canadian beer than Kokanee and Rickard's!

And start in May. Don't dally, because the summer's short; you want to dip your leg in the water at Cape Spear no later than the end of September!

quote:

Comment dit-on "foolscap" en français ?

On ne le dit jamais. Il n'y en a pas au Quebec. On utilise soit le papier brouillon, soi le cahier d'exercices.

Si vous parlez tres vite, je ne comprend rien. Si vous ne parlez pas si vite, je comprend un peu. How'd I do? Haven't had to speak or write French since grade 10! (1966)