sorry to have bothered.

May you always walk in sunshine, have the wind in your sails, and all that good stuff.

Dear Loamy,

I am so sorry. Things seem so bleak.You feel like the way things are, are the way they will be forever. You are so overwhelmed. You have an autistic child and are losing your house and garden. Find a way to believe that it will not be like this forever. Things can and will get better. You can't see this now, in the middle of everything, but you must cling to the faith that there is a purpose to everything and the tests we undergo are the way we we are given to get to the good things that await. Find a support group of people who deal with their autistic children. The outlook today is so different from what it was years ago. There is help out there. Please look for it and take all you can. Hold on to some of that heirloom seed. You will come out of this dark place. You will have a time when you will plant again. Stay in touch with us. Hang on. We care.

Love,
Abigail

Dear Loamy, you don't know me, nor I you since I'm new here. I don't have any wise or comforting words for you, I don't even have any good platitudes. But I heard your heartbreak, and despair and I want you to know that it matters to me that you hurt. I wish you better days ahead, and encouragement from those who count to you.
Please hold on to hope.

Kristi

Loamlump, this will NOT be your last post, and don't you dare let me down. I too have an autistic daughter, who is the light of my life. She's now 30. I lost a house, had to move, and all of it, but God was involved, so it all came out right in the end.

It always comes out right in the end, so if it hasn't come out right, it isn't the end.

You must have absolute faith that you're taken care of, like the lilies of the field.

Your friend, Peter

Loamy

Patience. Breathe deep. Trust in yourself and your abilities. "Issues" are temporary.

Lat 33

Loamy, I wish there was something I could do; I know how much gardening means to you. Are there any kind of resources, support groups, etc. in your area for parents of children with autism? I know you are definitely not alone, although you feel so alone right now. You and your kids are in my thoughts a lot.

--J--

Loamy, your life is NOT over! You have been given a challenge and you can handle it, otherwise it would not have been given to you!

Please seek some help, we are all pulling for ya. Things may seem grim at the moment, there will be better days ahead.

Ditto what Peter said! Thoughts, prayers and hugs to you.

Hugs to you Loamy. My prayers are with you as you travel this difficult path.
Wrap yourself in the love and friends.
Here is a flower for you. Ten years ago today my daughter gave me a lovely hydrangea. I planted it and have waited all these years and wondered why no blooms ever appeared. Today I found this one already opened and the rest of the bush covered with buds.

Loamy listen to your friends here. Peters right. It's not the end. Sending prayers your way.

Loamy, dear, life is not over--it may well seem like it at this point, but it is not. I wish I were there to give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder. I have a special needs uncle, and 2 adopted cousins who have special needs of their own as well.

Share those plants that you can't take with you--those with whom you share them are likely to have starts of the plants for you when you get settled. Keep your seeds--they'll be fine for next year, or even the year after. Hug Laura for us all here and know that while she may always have her limits she will grow within them...and will outgrow a toddlers incredible energy and busy-ness.

Loamy just hold on and try to stay focused.

Autism is not the end of the world, and you also have another child who needs you. I don't know how you and DH worked out the custody issue, but he is the father of both children as well. He needs to step up to the plate.
I really think it's impossible that he was exonerated from paying child support $$$ if you don't have a job.
Perhaps a mediator can help.

Dear sister--and you truly are a sister to every mother of a special child,

The heart wishes and advice sent your way are given in love, and good advice, too. But I know you may not be in a "place" of being able to act on much of it.

Be patient with yourself. Do find help. There are organizations/people who know how to help you in your specific situation and will. Find a parents of autistic children support group, even if it is on the Internet. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but if you can, make that a priority if you can do nothing else.

Yes, your life as you have known it, this chapter, is over, but your life is not. Things will be different and that is at best uncomfortable, and right now, unbelievably painful. And I know what never ending looks like from a place of hopelessness. You can borrow some hope and faith from someone else if you're out of both yourself. I did. I had to.

You can move through this, but you need help to do it. Ask for it. Let someone be your angel of help. Let many.

I second the idea of saving some of your heirloom seeds. Save them for a day you can't yet see. Call them your seeds of hope. They will wait for when you can garden again.

I send you envelopes of love and strength. You don't have to do everything just right, or feel strong or capable of the challenges you have, or see a blessing in this moment. Move through each moment as best as you can. Many have survived on just the moment to moment mode.

May you and your family be blessed. Abundantly blessed.

I am the mother of a special needs child, now 38.
And, yes, I've had to give up my garden and start over,too. I did save bits of it, as hope for another garden, and as a reminder of who I am--a gardener in my soul, no matter where I am.
I have seen very dark and dangerous days, and by the grace of God,I have moved through them. I wish you the same safe passage through these rough waters. Know there is love reaching out to you.

Miriam

Loamy my prayers are with you.
You will survive this. As Peter says, it will all come out right in the end.
Reach out for help, demand help if need be---for yourself and for your children. Don't you dare give up on yourself!

Loamy luv, you are not alone. Ever. Just by yourself sometimes. Keep reaching out for love and support. It is there for you. It is all around you. Sometimes we have to ask. And ask again. And again.

And when the day comes to start a garden again (and it will come if you want it) let people know. All your perennials, bulbs and seeds will come back to you. You will be amazed.

Loamy - I remember all of your past sporadic posts here where so many WONDERFUL members here - several in your area of Canada - took the time to post suggestions & links for free legal advice, medical care (including therapy), social services, etc., etc.

Just wondering if you ever took advantage of any of these resources. Because, as another poster just mentioned, it's difficult to believe that your ex-husband isn't responsible in some way/shape/form for child support as well as making sure - if not for you - that his children have suitable medical care & housing.