well, it is now official

post-partum depression.

Things have just kept getting worse.

I *did* keep telling my parents and DH that I was not doing well. But I don't think they believed me. Or maybe didn't know what to do about it.

Anyway, saw a shrinky dink today, will start meds today.

We shall see how it goes.

Hadn't realized until I talked to the shrink that I really don't have any friends any more. My really good friends have all moved out of town, and I haven't found anyone else that I really connect with.

Was interesting to hear that your brain actually shrinks when depressed.

Just wanted to share... you are all so sweet.

You are not friendless, girl, you hear me? There's lots of them right here. I consider you a friend of mine. Take care of yourself.

It's good that you realized something was going on and got some help. (Will you be able to keep nursing?) You just had a major scare with the birth, a major operation, a new baby, and 4 other children to take care of. That's way too much for most people; it certainly would be for me. Can you get some help in the house? Can DH or other family help more?

The best thing you could have done for yourself you've already done: Recognized you had a problem; acknowledged that you needed help and are getting it.

Remember, if our brains shrink when we go through depression, it's actually all for the best. What's left is the really important stuff. Your subconscious has a way of prioritizing things when your conscious mind can't.

I think my brain is about the size of a pea by now.

Now, now....there'll be no snide comments, please!

Alaskan, good for you for recognizing something wasn't right and getting help. A lot of people think things will just get better or it will "go away." Post partum depression is serious stuff.
I hope things start getting better for you. We're always here for you!!!

oh2fly is right, you have all of us to talk to. I hope your feeling better. I work in an OB office and see pp depression all the time. Your not alone and your getting help, thats whats important. Hang in there.
datgirl

Hang in there, alaskan. I'm SO glad you got some help. It really is hard--I don't think people take a woman seriously when she says she's depressed. I have had nothing like what you've had with this pregnancy and birth, and yet I struggled with some depression issues. Whenever I'd tell dh I thought I was depressed, he would say, "Oh. I'm sorry, babe." And that was it. Now, where's dinner??

I hope the "shrinky dink" helps, and take care of yourself. I also understand about not having close friends in town. It makes all the difference in the world. We're here for you, but I hope you find some close local ties too.

Take care of yourself,

Heather

Thanks guys,

I really needed the cyber hugs.

I am kinda in the spot where I just want to throw a giant temper tantrum. I don't want to be grown up anymore. I don't want to be loving and kind, I want to be selfish and have everyone cater to my every whim.

All overlaid with big heaps of crying.

alaskan.
I've been where you are now, and I can promise it does get better. It takes time and a lot of work for everyone involved, especially you, but it does get better. When everything seems to be so dark and hopeless, remember you have a veil of depression colouring what you see and feel. Recognizing the problem doesn't stop it, but it does help to turn it off for a little while. You've done quite a bit for yourself already, getting the word out that you are in need.

Find something to look forward to every day, and if you get to the point when that you don't care about getting to that something, call for help. Do you have people around you that will take the baby and children when you reach your breaking point? Have you made a plan with them for when that point comes? Can you get out of the house for even an hour or two for yourself?
There is nothing better for post partum than even a small victory, everyday.

Having a baby is huge. And don't worry about breastfeeding. Yes, they say it is best for baby and you in the long term, but formula-fed babies do survive and thrive. It's a happy Mom, an alive Mom that is far more important than breastfeeding. If your depression is over the baby, then being tied together by the boob is not good. There's a lot of things people say you have to do, or not do, but you are the one in the middle of it. Do what you can, what you must do, and let everything else take a flying fart.
This is just my opinion.

Amen!!!
datgirl

flying farts are the best kind, too. (What, you thought it was fairy dust propelling Santa's sleigh?!)

We are your cheering squad, Alaskan! RAH! (And ROWR! Who needs to be growled at? Show me who to growl at, and I'll growl.)

I got really depressed a couple of years ago. I don't know why, it just hit me like a shovel. I don't have insurance, so I didn't go to the doctor. I used herbal teas, and watched alot of comedy movies, and I finally snapped out of it after about 3 months. It will pass, so hang in there.

quote:

but you are the one in the middle of it. Do what you can, what you must do, and let everything else take a flying fart.

No one knows your situation better than you, dear alaskan. Liberal use of the 'flying farts' is highly recommended in this case.

I'm just glad you recognized what was happening and took a positive step to getting better (and I truly believe you will get better from here on out).

I stand right beside Elfie, ready to growl if need be. I'd bet between the two of us we could 'growl' someone into the middle of next weeek and have them looking both ways for Sunday.

Hugs and take care of yourself!

OB

Alaskan, I hope the Dr. and meds will be helpful to you very quickly. We have had family who suffered from depression and it is very real and needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. Now you are on your way to feeling better and it really will happen. It sounds like you have a lot of friends here and I hope you will feel the support! Cyber-friends are friends, too! Barb

girlfried

ain't reading thisthread. But guess what! Iwin!