At the heart of secular humanism is the belief that humans by their very nature are capable of nobility, kindness, ethical behavior and compassion for one another.

Now, I don't discuss religion or politics on this or any other forum, though I have strong opinions as most people do. But I have made it a point of my mature life to allow for others to disagree with me and to honor their beliefs as part of what makes them human. If you believe in something which I do not believe in, and you are a good and kind human being and you do not dishonor me for my beliefs, than I think we are more alike than different.

After several days off the forums, it was with great sadness that I read some of the chaotic posts which have occured over differences of opinion and approach. Most but not all centered around Allenwrench, although the post on the "over the fence" forum from GTE was mildly off the wall, but from one wacko to another, well, I can live with that.

What really bothers me is that people I know to be good, caring and honorable individuals have been sucked into this ugly dialogue, even though the intention was to avoid that very thing. Honestly, many of you are more real to me than the people I meet in my daily life, because of our shared passion for gardening and nurturing the earth, the joys, fears and sorrows we have shared, and the incredible concern you have shown me when it was my turn to be hurting.

I am genuinely sorry that Allenwrench has found himself with his back against the wall and no gracious way out of the corner. For many, that position is so uncomfortable that only the taking of an offensive posture seems tenable. I have read many rambling, accusatory and unfortunately personal posts and can only conjecture that the mass approbation of the membership has driven AW into an extremely defensive and zero sum position. If there was a bridge back to belonging, perhaps he would gladly step onto it, but there is not, the bridge is burned and there are only cinders and sparks.

As for the rest of us, yes, we love the group and do not want to see it damaged by rage and out of control posting. To think of the forum as being dismantled is very hard - this is a home away from home for so many of us. No doubt, the first responses to AW's "going too far" were intended to just get things back on track, but things just kept spiralling, it seems, until everything turned ugly.

First, I think we all need to forgive ourselves for what part we played in this little civil war. Secondly, I'd like to see everyone step back from personal attacks and name calling and practice, yes it sounds naive, just a little bit of compassion for one another. And lastly, it would be so great if we could just accept that we all have differences of opinion, but the forums are intended to be a place where we share - share our love of gardening, our experience, our humour and our struggles, rather than a place for divisiveness and discontent.

It is hard to make friends in this world, hard to find people you respect, can laugh with and cry with and rejoice with. Thank you all for being there for me, and for forgiving me when I've had a fall from grace.

Maggie

Maggie, you have so eloquently stated what I have been feeling in my heart about this situation. I posted a little calming breathing lesson for Allen after he posted in a rage and I hope he read it with the sincerety with which it was written. He also has posted perfectly "regular" posts recently about gardening issues.

There are ups and downs in every group. Maybe it is time for some members to just get things off their chests. There have been other posters who have had issues recently, too.

I feel lucky to have found this group and hope that things calm back down to a dull roar soon so we can "love one another" and have "a peaceful easy feelin'" when we come here as friends with a similar interest in organic gardening if nothing else.

Peace and love. Laura

Maggie, if I could give you bonus karma points, you would be rich! Nice post. I apologize to all of you guys for my part in the chaos. I am done now. I let AW push my buttons and I regret it. I thought I was above falling for that stuff. Let's call it a speed bump in our garden path and we just have to step over it to continue gardening in harmony. Laura, I read your breathing post and wasn't sure where you were headed with it. You were seriously trying to help. Good for you.

I am often misunderstood. I wish my communication skills were better.

quote:

I wish my communication skills were better.

I bet almost everyone here has thought that more than once. It can be very hard to communicate without seeing body language, hearing verbal tone and volume or ones facial expression like we can in person.

I didn't have trouble with Allenwrench, but that might be due to my short attention span.

--J--