All y'all crack me up.
The gardener's version of "Daaance, poolie!" ~ Only in this case poolie is a guy w/J.Depp's face, and.... how about a bowflex model's body?
My compost ideal? Lots and lots more of it. Abundant matierals with which to build many hot- and cold-compost piles magically dropped off in the appropriately handy spots.
DH helping me set up a decent-scale vermicompost in raised beds under a livestock rabbits guild in an open pole barn, surrounded on west & east sides by fruiting bananas, pineapple guava, mandarin melon berry, and loquat, with a couple of jujuba trees on the north side with pawpaw & kiwi as understory, and two avocados on either end of the south side, and maybe a citrus out front with gingers/galangal planted understory overall.
I have a tumbler, but it's slow, and requires a very hot manure (chicken, horse, pig) in the mix to make it work at anything approaching an efficient pace. Plus turning it several times a day isn't any more fun than turning the pile once a day. (DH made me put the sucker out there by my cinderblock bins.) Grandpa gave me the tumbler a few years ago, so DH thinks it's perfect - 100 ft. out back! I think I might be more satisfied with it if it were right outside the back door.
~ True grits, more grits, fish grits and collards. Life is good, where grits are swollar'd.
